You’re in a grocery store. You’re staring blankly down the aisles, in search of the perfect snacks. You’re having a Treat Yo Self night, and only the finest of products will do when the munchies creep up.
Then it hits you—a breakfast pastry sounds perfect. Pop-Tarts and Toaster Strudel immediately spring to mind, but you’re not sure which one to go for. Which of these fine breakfast pastries rank supreme?
Well, I found out. For you. And for science.
It’s important to note here that I am a lifelong preacher of the Pop-Tart gospel. The Pop-Tart is an incredible marvel of human ingenuity.
Toaster Strudel, on the other hand, I had never actually had before. But I am a scientist and a professional, so I went in with an open mind.
The only way to do this right was to create a points-based rating system. Since I’m a Strudel virgin, I asked a real-life fanatic about which flavor to get. She swore by the Strawberry, so I went with that. Most people can agree on Strawberry Pop-Tarts (though personally, I prefer Brown Sugar Cinnamon), so I went with those as well. Then I ate them back-to-back, using a very advanced system you probably wouldn’t understand — but I will try to dumb it down for you.
The Very Advanced System You Wouldn’t Understand
These are stoney baloney food. A treat for the lazy man. Anybody as dumb as me should be able to make these relatively easy; ain’t nobody got time for a complicated, multi-step process. How many steps are needed beyond just toasting them?
1 Point for a long prep time, 2 Points for a quick prep time.
What does it have going for it?
1 Point for every pro.
What does it have going against it?
1/2 point subtracted for every con.
On the classic 1-5 scale, how do they taste? Keep in mind, this is a scale for munchies. A perfect 5 does not mean it’s as good as a Michelin star restaurant. A perfect 5 just means it’s as good as it can be for a munchie.
1 – 5 Points, depending on the taste.
Using this point system, what score did it receive?
Grab your goggles. Follow me into the lab. Let’s do this.
Strawberry Toaster Strudel
Prep Time: 5-10 minutes. You need to thaw the pastry, toast it, and then apply the icing.
- Stellar icing.
- The flaky crust makes you feel like you’re eating a real pastry.
- Moist filling.
- You only need to eat one to feel satisfied.
- The flaky crust is messy as the dickens.
- You have to be Marie Curie to understand the science required to toast it properly.
- You can’t eat it untoasted.
- Your fingers are sticky afterward.
- The box doesn’t tell you that you need to thaw the pastry before toasting.
Overall Rating: 6
At first glance, it’s instantly clear that a Toaster Strudel is a good deal smaller than a Pop-Tart. This soured me right away. However, upon closer inspection, I realized that a Strudel is about twice as thick as a Pop-Tart, so that evens things out.
Waiting three to five minutes for a Toaster Strudel is far from acceptable. It’s also quite difficult to master the entire process. My first attempt to toast one didn’t quite work out, as it was still not hot enough, and I had to re-toast it. This resulted in a molten magma hot crust, yet an Arctic tundra cold filling. This is not my toaster’s fault–everything else I toast comes out perfectly.
I consulted my Strudel-loving source, who told me that Toaster Strudels should be thawed a bit before toasting. There are two problems with this: A) The box does not tell you that, so if an insider tip is needed to make the product functional, that is a huge issue and B) WHO HAS THE TIME? I don’t have the time. Do you have the time? Of course not. We’re all so busy. We could make scrambled eggs in the time it takes to make a Toaster Strudel.
I decided, in the interest of fairness, to try again. I let this one thaw until it was room temperature. I popped it back in the toaster, and while it did work a little better, the end result still wasn’t incredible. It was again hot on the outside, and only sort of warm on the inside. Toaster Strudel seems to present itself as having an ooey-gooey inside, but I’m afraid that’s simply not the case.
Strudels are, I will say, quite tasty. The icing is top-notch. They’re mad flaky though, which is both a pro and a con. It helps the taste experience but also makes a big mess. You also can’t really even hold one without getting icing all over your fingers. Even if you apply the icing on the top without touching the sides, the heat from the pastry melts the icing, causing it to drip down the sides. Eating a toaster strudel is to take a flakey, icing-filled shower.
Prep Time: 1 minute. Toast that sucker, pull it out, and you’re ready to rock.
- Always hot on the inside, even after toasting for only one minute.
- The weird crunchy frosting is outstanding.
- You can, if you must, eat them untoasted.
- A tendency to go overboard with silly flavors that nobody wants.
- The frosting never fully covers the entire thing.
- You need to eat two to be satisfied.
Taste: 4.5 (Brown Sugar Cinnamon would get a perfect 5 for me)
Overall Rating: 8
Pop-Tarts come in packs of two, which suggests that you should be eating them in that quantity. Healthwise this isn’t ideal, but you probably won’t be satisfied after eating just one. I will give the Toaster Strudel some credit in that department.
It is undeniably easier to make a Tart than it is to make a Strudel (you can even microwave them, if need be). After exactly one minute in my toaster, it was perfect: hot on the outside, hot on the inside. If it takes only one minute to make a Pop-Tart perfectly, there is absolutely no reason you should be settling for a five minute thawing time, and then a three to five minute toasting time for a Toaster Strudel, especially when it’s not a guarantee it will even be hot all the way through.
The Strawberry tastes great and it’s not even my favorite flavor. I love the way the frosting cracks open when you take a bite. Admittedly, Pop-Tarts can go overboard with their insane flavors (S’Mores is garbage), but we are pitting the best flavors of each brand against each other here, so the bad flavors shouldn’t factor in. In other words, I’ll ignore the Boston Cream Pie Toaster Strudels as well as those whackadoo Wild Thornberrys-looking Pop Tarts.
The real issue here is that these products are stoney snacks. Even if Strudels tasted as good – which they don’t–they simply require too much effort. A Strudel lover might argue that you’re not meant to eat one late at night when you’re high, but rather you are meant to enjoy it at your leisure from the comfort of your home in the morning. I might argue that if that’s really the case, you should just make a normal breakfast like a human being.
With a final score of 8, Pop-Tarts defeat Toaster Strudels’ 6, and claim the title. Well done, Pop Tarts. Y’all deserved it.
To the victor, the spoils.
The post Munchie Showdown: Pop-Tarts vs. Toaster Strudel appeared first on High Times.
1. What is CBD? What is CBD Oil?
Cannabidiol (CBD) is a naturally occurring constituent of industrial hemp/cannabis. Its formula is C21H30O2 and it has a molecular mass of 314.4636. It is the most abundant non-psychoactive cannabinoid found in cannabis, and is being scientifically investigated for various reasons.
CBD oil is a cannabis oil (whether derived from marijuana or industrial hemp, as the word cannabis is the latin genus name for both) that has significant amounts of cannabidiol (CBD) contained within it. Our CBD products and extracts are derived from industrial hemp, so they could be considered CBD-rich hemp oil, hemp derived CBD oil, CBD-rich cannabis oil, or plainly “hemp extracts” since they typically contain much more than just CBD. Again, cannabis doesn’t mean marijuana, but is the genus name, and general umbrella term which all forms of marijuana and hemp fall under. The form of cannabis we use for our CBD and hemp extracts is industrial hemp; we do not sell marijuana.
2. If a hemp extract is 40% cannabinoids, what’s the other 60%? What’s in your hemp extracts besides the naturally occurring cannabinoids?
Our Kentucky hemp extracts contain over 80 different phyto-cannabinoids such as cannabidiol (CBD), CBC, CBG, CBN, etc.. In addition to the cannabinoids naturally present in our agricultural hemp extracts, there are also many other types of natural molecules and phyto-chemical compounds such as amino acids, carbohydrates, vitamins (including B1, B2, B6, D), fatty acids (including omega 3 & 6), trace minerals (including iron, zinc, calcium, magnesium, potassium), beta-carotene, chlorophyll, flavanoids, ketones, nitrogenous compounds, alkanes, glycosides, pigments, water, and terpenes. The most common terpenes in our hemp extracts are Myrcene, Beta-caryophyllene, Terpinolene, Linalool, alpha-Pinene, beta-Pinene, Nerolidol og Phytol, trans-alpha-Bergamotene, Limonene/ beta-Phellandrene (Co-elution), and alpha-Humulene.
3. What’s the difference between Hemp and Marijuana?
Scientifically, industrial Hemp and Marijuana are the same plant, with a genus and species name of Cannabis Sativa. They have a drastically different genetic profile though. Industrial Hemp is always a strain of Cannabis sativa, while marijuana can be Cannabis sativa, Cannabis indica, or Cannabis ruderalis. The major difference is how industrial hemp has been bred compared to a marijuana form of Cannabis sativa. Typically speaking, industrial hemp is very fibrous, with long strong stalks, and barely has any flowering buds, while a marijuana strain of Cannabis sativa will be smaller, bushier, and full of flowering buds. However, newer industrial hemp varieties in the USA are being bred to have more flowers and higher yields of cannabinoids and terpenes, such as our Kentucky hemp we’re now using!
99% of the time marijuana has a high amount of THC and only a very low amount of CBD. Hemp, on the other hand, naturally has a very high amount of CBD in most instances, and only a trace amount of THC. Fortunately, the cannabinoid profile of hemp is ideal for people looking for benefits from cannabis without the ‘high.’ Hemp is used for making herbal supplements, food, fiber, rope, paper, bricks, oil, natural plastic, and so much more, whereas marijuana is usually used just recreationally, spiritually, and medicinally. The term cannabis oil can refer to either a marijuana or hemp derived oil, since marijuana and hemp are two different forms of cannabis.
In the USA the legal definition of “industrial hemp,” per Section 7606 of the Agricultural Appropriations Act of 2014, is “INDUSTRIAL HEMP — The term ‘‘industrial hemp’’ means the plant Cannabis sativa L. and any part of such plant, whether growing or not, with a delta-9 tetrahydrocannabinol concentration of not more than 0.3 percent on a dry weight basis.”
4. Are hemp derived cannabinoids such as CBD as good as CBD from marijuana?
The short answer is yes. CBD is CBD, whether from marijuana or hemp. Most marijuana has a very low non-psychoactive cannabinoid profile (like CBD, CBC, CBG), so most of the time hemp would be much more preferable for anything besides THC. Marijuana is usually very high in THC (gives people the high) but usually very low in other non-psychoactive cannabinoids.
Nowadays in the USA, many farmers are growing industrial hemp flowers that are just as beautiful, odor-producing, and terpene rich as the best marijuana strains, such as our partnered farmers in Kentucky.
5. Why don’t you source your Hemp and CBD from within Colorado?
We feel that the hemp program in Kentucky is more well suited for our company in regards to growing hemp, and that because it’s 100% compliant with Section 7606 of the 2014 Farm Bill (and the 2016 Agricultural Appropriations Act), procuring it from there is perfectly legal at the federal level. Kentucky’s ecology is perfect for hemp just as it is for tobacco. The growing season is longer than in Colorado, and the soil is richer, so the quality of the hemp and the yields are better.
6. What’s the percentage of cannabinoids and CBD in your product?
Our raw extracts have varying percentages of cannabinoid and cannabidiol (CBD) content, the range being 10%-99%. Each product has a unique formulation and uses varying ratios of our extract types. Our CBD Isolate is over 99% pure CBD.
7. What is the best method of use?
For our dietary supplements we can only recommend them for internal consumption. Our CBD isolate is for research purposes only. If you don’t like the flavor of the oil supplements, you can mix with something sweet like apple sauce or honey to cut through the flavor.
8. What’s the ideal serving size for me, and how often should I take it?
There is no easy answer to this. Our starting recommended serving size is 15 drops but we generally recommend experimenting to see what feels best to you. Some prefer 5 drops, some prefer over 50 drops per day.
9. What is the safety of your hemp extracts? Are there negative side effects?
Hemp is considered by many to be generally safe. We’ve never seen or heard of any significant or negative side effects in our years in the industry. That said, we can’t rule them out. Please consult with your physician before using any dietary supplement including Hemp extract supplements.
10. Which of your CBD and hemp products should I get?
As a company who sells various dietary and food supplements, we can’t suggest any of our products for the prevention, treatment or cure of any disease or ailment.
When considering our different dietary hemp products, know that they all come in two strengths. Our Original Hemp blends (Classic Hemp Blend, Hemp Complete, Brainpower oil, & Signature Blend) all have 250+mg of cannabinoids per fluid ounce, and our concentrated blends have 1,500+mg per fluid ounce, six times the potency of our traditional oils. We’ve found that sometimes less is more, but nevertheless, some people like to take very large serving sizes of our hemp extracts.
The main difference between the four Original Blends is the additional herbal ingredients besides hemp. We suggest you research the separate components of each blend to determine which product may be most appealing to add to your dietary regimen. If you know it’s solely the hemp extract that you are looking for, with no additional ingredients, then Classic Hemp Blend or Classic Hemp 6x is what you’re looking for.
For dabbing and vaporizing or for research you can try our CBD Isolate.
THOSE WHO SUSPECT THEY MAY HAVE A DISEASE OR ARE SEEKING HELP FOR A DISEASE SHOULD CONSULT A QUALIFIED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL.
11. Why do people use Hemp Extracts and CBD? What are the benefits and uses of CBD?
In accordance with federal regulations we cannot make health claims regarding our dietary supplement products. We can only recommend our products for general wellness.
12. Is a standard hemp seed oil the same as a high-CBD hemp extract?
Absolutely not. Standard hemp oil, which can be found very cheaply at a grocery store, is a much different product than our CO2 hemp extracts (not from seed). Standard hemp oil is produced by cold pressing the seeds, whereas our hemp extract is a supercritical CO2 extraction of the hemp plant itself, not the seeds. Hemp seed oil is considered to be a great nutritive food, but it doesn’t have the naturally occurring terpenes, cannabinoids and other components that our extracts do have.
13. Do I need to move to Colorado to get your Hemp Extracts and CBD? Where do you ship?
No. We actually source our hemp from Kentucky, as it’s legal to ship across state lines. Many people are under the impression that the only way to acquire hemp extracts and CBD for themselves or a loved one is to move to Colorado or another cannabis-friendly state. Many major news outlets are misinformed and are unfortunately spreading the idea that you can only get CBD oil in the states where medical marijuana has been legalized. This is simply not the case though. Because our extracts comes from hemp instead of marijuana, we can and do ship to all fifty states, and no medical marijuana card is needed. There are some exceptions, like with Indiana, Missouri and South Dakota we can’t sell our concentrated products due to state legislation.
We also ship to Japan, Australia, the EU, Switzerland, and Brazil. For all EU orders contact our exclusive distributor there, Cannawell.
14. Is your Hemp Extract Oil similar to Rick Simpson Hemp Oil?
Not quite. Ours are from hemp and RSHO is usually using marijuana, a different form of cannabis than industrial hemp. Our industrial hemp extracts are more standardized and will usually have a much higher content of non-psychoactive cannabinoids like CBD than one produced through the Rick Simpson method. And oils produced through his method will usually have a much higher THC content, as it’s typically marijuana that is used for RSHO.†
Generally speaking, most marijuana producers and sellers (especially on the black market) don’t test for contaminants (metals, pesticides, bacteria, etc.). Rick Simpson Hemp Oil is actually more a method of extraction than it is a specific product. People use the Rick Simpson method with hundreds of different strains of marijuana, so the THC, CBD and other cannabinoid content of the final oil is always varying greatly, depending on the cannabis the consumers are acquiring. Usually what’s used for Rick Simpson oil is a strain with an inferior CBD content (and high THC), because that’s what the vast amount of marijuana is nowadays.
15. Where do you source your hemp and CBD from?
We have partners in Kentucky who grew a dedicated plot for us this year (2016) which is being used in our products now. We also currently source from Europe but we’ll be changing that soon.
16. What kind of testing/analysis is performed on your products?
We have an industry leading quality control system, and we have third party laboratories analyze all of our hemp extracts and our final products for cannabinoid potency, heavy metals, bacterial and microbial life, mycotoxins (fungus), and pesticides.
17. What is CO2 extraction? What’s the difference between subcritical and supercritical CO2 extractions?
CO2 extraction is an extraction process that uses pressurized carbon dioxide to extract phyto-chemicals (such as CBD, CBG, or terpenes, flavonoids, etc.) from a plant. CO2 at certain temperatures and pressures acts like a solvent, without the dangers of actually being one. It is the most expensive extraction method, and is widely considered the most effective and safest plant extraction method in the world.
Many hemp and CBD companies boast about their supercritical CO2 extractions, but that’s actually only one (and perhaps an inferior) method of using a CO2 extraction machine. There are also subcritical CO2 extractions, and ‘mid-critical’, a general range between subcritical and supercritical. Subcritical (low temp, low pressure) CO2 extractions take more time and produce smaller yields than super-critical, but they retain the essential oils, terpenes, and other sensitive chemicals within the plant. Supercritical, on the other hand, is a high pressure and high temperature process that damages most terpenes and heat sensitive chemicals, but can extract much larger molecules such as lipids (omega 3 and 6), chlorophyll, and waxes. A truly full-spectrum CO2 extract includes first performing a subcritical extraction, separating the extracted oil, and then extracting the same plant material using supercritical pressure, and then homogenizing both oil extracts into one. In the essential oil industry, an extract made using this specific process is referred to as a CO2 Total.
18. What is the endocannabinoid system (ECS)?
“The endocannabinoid system (ECS) is a group of endogenous cannabinoid receptors located in the mammalian brain and throughout the central and peripheral nervous systems, consisting of neuromodulatory lipids and their receptors.” Wikipedia
There are two main types of receptors in the ECS, CB1 and CB2. CB1 receptors are primarily located in the central nervous system and brains of mammals, and CB2 are generally found in the peripheral nervous system. There are two main cannabinoids mammals produce- 2AG and Anandamide (named after the Sanskrit term “ananda” which translates to “peace”).
For hundreds of millions of years every vertebrate on Earth has been equipped with this ECS, a crucial system in the body, and it has been known about in the scientific and medical communities since the 1980’s. However, it’s still not taught about in most medical schools.